Egg donation/consultation.

Okay, I haven't told you guys!

So since the past couple of years of when I got pregnant with Rin, I have been looking into egg donation..which helps other couples to conceive. As I do believe almost every woman has the right to have a child no matter what they have to go through. As I am sick of tired, of always seeing unwanted "parents" who do nothing but have children for the sake of money or they have a child and neglect it. I mean it's not fair in this world to bring a little human being for it not to be cared or loved.
Which is why I want to help these genuine couples, it will be like a little selfless gift to them.

Anyways, I enquired about it a few weeks ago..and no one was in the office, so I left my name and phone number which they got back to me.
They sent me out an application/process form which arrived two weeks ago, I knew all about the process and what it entitles as I had done my research for the past couple of years. So I immediately filled out my details and sent off in excitement. As the past couple of weeks began to creep up, I started to feel slightly disheartened that they may not get back in touch or I may not be suitable.

Yesterday, I received my consultation form!!! And I am booked in for the 19th of June!
I am excited, but nervous at the same time..as I hope I am a suitable candidate as I would  love to be able to just help one person.

So wish me luck!!

I want to sell lots of things!!

But I'm too lazy to take photos of everything and put them on eBay!!
Damn my sheer laziness.
Someone should come round and do it for me! hahaha.

Hope my followers are all doing well.  :D

"Illuminati", "MKultra"..conspiracy theories.

Greetings from planet Shellei!

I am currently very fascinated with the whole conspiracy theory on mind control within the celebrity culture.
Now, I am pretty skeptical of it all..but I do think there is some sort of truth to it.
I mean a lot of things seem very coincidental, which I do find a bit too odd for it to be such a coincidence
a lot of the stuff does make sense. Especially all the subliminal messaging that is involved in a lot of stuff, even such things as Disney it happens in. I mean, it is a clever way to sell things or to get somebody to think about something...but that is the whole idea of subliminal messages.
A lot of things involve "sex"..well, not actual intercourse mind, but like very provocative and quite intimate gestures but personally I don't think there is much wrong with it, as long as it's being shown to the right audience. As they say, sex sells. And I do believe that is very true.

Also I have been reading up a lot on Alister Crowley stuff, as he was supposed to be involved in satanism and the black art of magic. Which, I have always loved since a young age, when I was 10 everybody wanted to be a princess whilst I wanted to be a witch haha.
Anyways, this stuff is pretty fascinating once you know where to look and what you want to know about it. I don't think the world is run by the illuminati although, I do think there may be a higher power, but it definitely does not involve any form of satanism or magic as some of this stuff portrays. As sadly magic is not real. And well, Satan does not exist. You have to be careful how deep you go with these conspiracy theories, I have been very much into them for a few years now..but I try not to get too carried away with it all as I know it has driven people mental before because they read far too much into, and think something bad is going to happen. Well I don't want that to happen to me anytime soon haha.

Is the truth really out there? or are we going to be forever guessing?
I don't know. Right now I shall try and read a bit more into MKultra, as it is a new conspiracy I have come across, of mind control by using "celebrities" as sex slaves or puppets. Very creepy if it's real..I don't like the idea of mind control. :/

Depression.

Now, whenever you hear the word "depression" or "depressed" a lot of people seem to have the same views on it, and don't seem to understand how hard it actually is to suffer such a thing. I fall in the category of the severe cases, and some days it's so hard to even want to get out of bed.

Lately, I have had a bad episode..to the point were I have been planning my own suicide in my head again. I know I shouldn't do these things, but I know deep down that I hopefully won't fall so low that I will actually do something stupid. The past couple of days, I hadn't had my medication and every little thing had got to me and I just wanted to cry constantly, because all I wanted was to die to feel at peace not to go through this torture. It's very selfish which is why I wouldn't do it in the right frame of mind. I mean don't get me wrong, I love the people in my life, especially my other half and little girl but when I go through these stages I blame myself for not being able to get us our own house, or for being a better person. I do think they deserve much better, someone who isn't ill. Someone to take care of them properly without having to worry about stepping on egg shells when I fall into these episodes. I just wish it would get easier, and maybe there will be some sort of silver lining at the end of the tunnel for us all.

Wedding Part II...

Well here comes the fun bit, so we arrived at Mayfair ready for the wedding of the century! and I can honestly say for a first wedding, no other wedding will be able to top this!! It was absolutely amazing..and surreal. I don't think words can describe how awesome it was..I am just going to have to post a lot of the photos from that night and show.

Here is some prewedding photos:

Me!

Dave, Jacinta, Tash and myself.

The wedding:

Jenn modelling her Princess Mimi circle lenses.

Zombiefied!!!(obviously circled myself there)

The truck was amazing!

Here's some professional photos of the couple that were taken for publicity! I loved them I think they look awesome. 

The priest I spoke to a couple of times outside when I was drunk and he said he had been in many films before as he was hired by Riptide to play this part. One of his famous roles was a 'Deatheater in Harry Potter'

So...the drinks were all free, and it was time to get drunk and party!! First lets see the cake cutting!

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAIINS!

So we all got a little crazy and drunk..and I got some photos and selfies took whilst I was there..so I shall leave you with those of my little drunken self. :) Hope you enjoy this post as much as I enjoyed the wedding. It couldn't have gone to a better, more loving couple and I wish them all the best for the future with their two little doggles. Beautiful little family!

Then it was a drunken journey home...on a six hour coach, safe to say we all carried on drinking then fell asleep haha. I suffered for days after though. 

The Wedding! Jenn and Rob Blackmore.

Well it was an early start so to speak, woke up at 4:30am and had to get pre-ready for the first wedding. Putting in my circle lenses wasn't so nice as it was so early and only had 4 and a half hours sleep. My friend Tash arrived around 5am, and she was just as tired as I was haha. She waited around whilst I got ready as much as poss, I only wore light make up at the time. Never took any photos as it was far too early. Lets skip the boring part...

So the first wedding at the reception was beautiful, Jennifer the bride looked absolutely stunning and she came out to the "Ice Dance" off Edward Scissorhands (Danny Elfman). They took their vows and said all the lovey stuff, it was the first wedding I had been too. I was impressed..it almost brought a tear to my eye. ALMOST!

                                                            "Now you may kiss the bride"
So, all the family, friends and photographers gathered up outside to take pictures of everyone and the bride and groom. I avoided these as much as possible. As I felt pretty rough and tired. They were a lot of lovely photos taken off them though.

                                                          Bridesmaids, and the Bride.
Then Jenn and the bridesmaids were quickly scooped off and into a big 4x4 as they had to go and prepare for the massive fun...which is the night!!

I am so sorry for not updating!

I always seem to forget I have this, but lately I have been doing like a million things at once..and the fact I have been quite ill and in agony with my stomach. So I haven't really been online much, only on my mobile. Plus I stayed at my fathers for a few days this week too with the baby. So not really had much chance on my laptop. Hope everyone is doing well though who follows me. And I promise, I will try my best to keep updating!!